So we’ve had a little time to reflect, to mourn, to anticipate the coming Robotolypse. We may never answer the question, “Why did the last forty minutes suck so much (except for me dying, which even made Baltar cry)?” Yet, we CAN answer the question: “Who most accurately predicted this ridiculousness?” And since I have a lot more free time, being dead and all, I WILL answer that question. Right now. And I must say, re-reading our predictions really drives home how sorely this finale disappointed.
President-for-Life-and-Afterlife Laura Roslin earns:
- +1/2 point for predicting that things would blow up. A gimme.
- +1 point for Kara’s musical math leading us to Earth, albeit not through the black hole as I’d hoped. Note: it would have been MUCH COOLER if what I’d predicted had actually happened. I’m just sayin’.
- +1 point for settling on a planet and planting a new flower, although we must interpret “flower-picking” euphemistically as Hera taking the “flowers” of various cavemen.
- +1 point because Gaius risked his life for the Miracle Baby and redeemed himself on his farm.
- +1 for Lee’s helmet hair & leadership folly. Seriously, what was he THINKING? And why did we LISTEN to him? Did anyone SEE the last episode of Survivor? No Antibiotics = Certain Doom, People!
- +1/2 Gaius gets some action… not of his usual variety.
- +1 for the AWESOME final battle that I’ve been raving about for weeks.
- +1 because Simon came through for me in a big way, until that bitch Boomer snapped his neck mid-speech.
- +1/2 for Boomer saving Hera (predicted penultimately).
- +2 because the Gods smiled on Gaius, Fat Lee, Doc Cottle, Hera, One of Helo/Athena, Romo, Ellen, and Hoshi
- +1 because the Gods smited Cavil, Boomer, Anders, and Tory. I know I said she’d live in this last post, but I created the Tory: Your Days are Numbered tag, so that’s gotta be worth a quarter point.
- +1 because I finally went to the Great Cruise Ship in the Sky. I’m awarding a whole point because (a) everyone predicted this, so no one gets an advantage, and (b) the scorekeeper’s demise is more important than everyone else’s.
- +0.5 because the prophecies were true, and I did lead my people to a new world before I kicked it.
- +1 because the Opera House vision finally came to its ridiculous conclusion.
- Beyond the Grave Grand Total: +13 points
Athena, wife of the only surviving Hot Husband, earns:
- +1 for my death, plus 1/4 point because that Searider Falcon death scene would have been totally awesome. Why do you not listen to us, Ron??
- +1 for Cylons & Humans Finally Getting Along (after blowing each other to frakking hell).
- +1 for Anders’ sun salute
- +2 for Gaius staying on Galactica, being selfless, and riding off into the Opera House sunset with Caprica 6.
- +1 for Cottle re-appearing and not dying (yay!)
- +1/2 because half the Centurions sided with Not Cavil.
- +1/2 because Galactica presumably blew up when it got too close to the sun’s corona. Or maybe just melted?
- +1 for the pigeon metaphor being heavy-handedly explained to us
- +1 for the formative Shawn Ellison One Night Stand
- +1.25 for the survival of Leobhen, both Adamas, and Mr. & Mrs. Tigh
- +.75 for the demise of Boomer, Cavil, and Galactica
- +1 because Zak showed up again
- +1 because Kara was already dead… or was she? Stupid Kara.
- +1 for Romo taking over for Lee, though why he couldn’t stay in charge is a mystery. Stupid Lee.
- +1.5 for the 8 on 8 violence and for Helo making it through
- +0.5 because Hera lives.
- Humanity’s Grandma’s Grand Total: +16.25 points
Once-Great Warrier Diva Turned Simplistic and Unsatisfying Religious Archetype Kara Thrace earns:
- +1 for pre-150,000-years-later humanity not all being Cylons.
- +2 for Baltar staying behind to reconcile with Cap-6 so that they could both deliver Hera unto the CIC.
- +1 because I’m dead.
- +0.5 because Kara let Anders go, but only because he had to be shot into the sun, and then she decided not so much on the Lee thing after all. She had to go be a pigeon or something.
- +1 because Adama flew a viper, and he WAS a badass.
- +1 for a new home for the fleet
- +1 because we were ALL really sad when this was over.
- Grand Total for God’s Plan’s Errand-Girl: +7.5 points
Romo “Hidden Talents with Letter Openers and Running Civilizations” Lampkin earns:
- +1 point for Anders blasting the shit out of Cavil’s colony.
- +1 point for Anders calling Kara the Harbinger of Death a few eps ago; I don’t think I ever awarded points for that.
- +5 points for predicting against all odds and reasonable plotlines that Earth was Fake Earth and that we would know it when we found Real Earth.
- Sweet, Sweet Vindication Grand Total: +7 points
I’ve sorted through some old posts, but not all. (Okay, mostly my own.) You have one Earth week to adjust your points after providing sufficient justifications in the comments. This is assuming anyone besides me ever checks the blog again. After seven days, I’ll finalize scores and hand out prizes.
Peace,
Mrs. Laura Roslin-Adama
Whoa, good timing! The A-$ and I were just talking about the scores not even like two hours ago.
I will take the points as given. Even though, I thought there should have been a scene where President Romo hordes up all the comforting gadget (coffee makers, raptors, etc) and goes with the people that don’t want to live in dirt and starts up the lost continent of Atlantis. That would have been less weird than Starbuck poofing away.
Holy cow, we went prediction crazy at the end. I think Romo deserves at least a few more points for being spot on about Earth.
So, here’s what my balance should be, plus some slightly unnecessary links to everything. It’s totally unfair that I never got adequately docked for my horrible predictions.
+.5 for Galactica not being a spacecraft at the end of the show
+.1 for the foresight to think that StarbuckS would be a potential thing to be in times square at the most horrible of horrible ending times.
-1 for being stupid and pretending Roslin was just like Elenor Roosevelt.
+.5 for nuking on the Cylon’s base.
+.1 for citing the tipping point and using the word co-evolution.
+1 for Baltar not being in charge of anyone at the end.
+1 for additional awesome Athena/Boomer predictions
+.5 for Adama actually burying Roslin and for Roslin getting all drugged up and not having breakdowns.
+.005 for Roslin being planted like the little plant with a stick coming out of her kind of like a little tree. Please say someone else has read the Ender’s Game series as in depth as I have. See also “home is where we’re all getting along.”
-1 for operating under the assumption that we were going to get a government at the end.
-1 for operating under the assumption that the earth we live on is Earth 1.0 and that it is in fact Earth 4.0 or something.
So give me +.705 more points
Since it was so much fun to go back through my own posts and argue for points, I thought I’d do it for everyone.
Final predictions that were kind of correct from throughout the season
Tigh:
+.5 points for Human and Cylon allies going back to a nice green planet with things to eat (not +1 because Kobol isn’t now-Earth)
+1 for epic bloodiness.
+1 for Roslin dying.
Adm Adama:
+1 points for knowing that he, and all of us here at So Say We All are Cylons. Mad props.
Angel Starbuck:
+1 for accurately predicting that Hera is our mitochondrial source.
+1 for accurately predicting that Hera is a great token for negotiation. +0 points for not predicting that nobody would get resurrection because Tory is a bitch.
+1 for epic bloodiness
+2 for somehow tapping into the fleet’s strategic hive mind and knowing exactly what Galactica was going to do 2 weeks in advance.
+1 for the foresight to have Anders as the last one on the ship…ever.
+2 for knowing that the notes were coordinates to Earth.
Gods damn it! Kara’s ridiculously accurate predictions just edged her into second place!
PS. I don’t actually know how to change the scoreboard.